She has got her mothers thighs, poor thing...

" Where's my fish 'n' chips ?

" Fish face ... come here fishie fishie "

OK , so I am even more tired today but not feeling so down. Thanks for all the support, I guess that it is just a mother thing no matter where in the world you are !! So its overcast today but still about 19 degrees so no complaints, I love the winter here. I have been to the laundry and done a load of baby's clothes , she's asleep now ( finally ) so and making the most of it. She has always been such a good sleeper , unlike her brother who still wakes several times a night , so I guess the last few nights are pay back time, shes making sure that I am not taking her goodness for granted. After moaning about my house yesterday I had a change around in the living room and it looks a lot better. Still have the urge to go shopping for cushions, plants, new lights and other homely accessories , but I am happier with the way it looks. These houses are built to stay cool and so the windows on the sunny side are small and the sliding door outside is on the dark side of the house. It's great in summer but in winter the room is quite dark. On the bright side, the kibbutz is going on a trip to Turkey in March for 4 nights to stay in a lovely hotel, its not an organised tour ( couldn't think of anything worse ) but everyone breaks off and does there own thing. Its all paid for so that's a real bonus. Only problem is no kids , so that means Mrs Desert flower will be at home !Erez did offer to not go in all fairness, but it was just a bluff as he knew that I would say , " no, you go , have fun " . I don't mind too much , I intend to cream it for all its worth and hopefully get some nice pressies, especially since he comes back the day before my birthday ! But in my heart I'm thinking how wonderful Istanbul is and how fantastic a week away would be !There will be another time. the up side is that my brother will be here, so that will be a good help and a good chance to spend some time with him. Hope you enjoy the pictures from the aquarium last weekend.

Tomorrows another day..

This week hasn't started well really. My friends from England have moved on today and I am really going to miss them. Honestly I think I feel annoyed at the kibbutz for their treatment of them. I have had enough of saying goodbye to people I care about.
Also a little girl from Yonatans daycare was badly burnt in the weekend and under went skin grafts today on her legs and arms. I can't think about how much pain she must be in poor wee thing. It also makes me think about how vulnerable my kids are and how easily they can be hurt. That scares me.

I don't know feel under a bit of a dark cloud really over the last couple of weeks. Hasn't helped that we have all been sick and I think that Maia has started teething , clothes constantly wet and the last two nights has woken a million times to nurse. I am all over the place , feel fine and then up and down. I also just made a coffee and looked around our living room and it is so not homey and so small. I bought a lovely red carpet a year ago , ( imitation Turkish thing ) but ended up having to take it out because it was never clean and a trap for sand which I couldn't vacuum up even.
Its depressing as I so want to make a lovely living environment for my family and I still miss how old house. Although we had old crappy temporary furniture, there was light and so much room in our NZ house. Our living room is a bit of a shoe box. I have somehow lost my self confidence and I am intimated by the idea of trying to create something different, in case I failure and then feel worse. I really miss my old self, I definitely used to be creative and motivated.
I think that I am actually just tired and that's why I am seeing the bad side of everything. New day tomorrow.

Last week was one of those crazy weeks that you are just on the go constantly. First of all I had my driving test to swap my licence over , I passed thank goodness but it was the end of a very long process. So look out, I'm on the road again !~ Secondly, we celebrated our 6 year wedding anniversary. I was looking at my wedding photos and the main thing that I noticed was how young I looked. Where did that woman go ? I feel so old and hagged ( ?? ) comparatively. Must do something about that, sometime ! We went out for dinner with babe, who was a little unsettled so didn't really make for a romantic time , but the meal was nice on the marina. Wednesday Erez got sick with 39.7 fever and this lasted a couple of days, he is still not a 100 percent. Thursday my in laws arrived as Friday was Yonatans birthday. This is really the first year that he has been into his birthday and he requested a dinosaur cake. I was really proud of my effort and it turned out really well I think !Up till late Thursday night , decorating the dinosaur ( looked a bit more like a dragon but there were no complaints so that's OK ) Friday there was a party at daycare and big Friday night dinner, Saturday morning we had a small party at home for Yonatans birthday, which was nice but I had woken up feeling terrible, but tried my best to be a good hostess all day. So relieved Saturday night when everyone went home. Spent yesterday feeling terrible , passed out at 5.00 pm and had a terrible night , but I think I feel better today.
I was really looking forward to having a little normality this week so I refuse to be sick. Oh another terrible , but at the sound time kind of funny ( in a very black way ) Yonatan has suddenly become very interested in death and asking all sorts of related questions, what happens when people die , who dies , where do they go , why don't they fall out of the sky, what about animals, lions etc ? What about dogs , because they live in the house like us so do they go to the sky with us or turn to dust like the other animals ? All a bit to much to cope with when you have a fever and a runny nose. I guess its the age , he is suddenly very concerned about himself and I need to do some reading on how to make him feel more reassured about it. I remember when I was a kid being so concerned about my Mum dying, and about what would happen to me. Any suggestions ?

At least someone else is having a bad hair day too.

I haven't been able to find my glasses all day.
Now I have a terrible headache and I swear that if could only find them , I would start wearing them all the time like I am supposed to. Then I wouldn't ever have to spend time on the frustrating and pointless exercise of trying to find something I can't see. Ok, I can actually see but my eyes are very tired and I am squinting, not good for those eye wrinkles and headache is getting worse typing this. Tracing my steps from this morning is tedious and since I've seemed to developed senile dementia can't remember past drinking coffee. I even took all the towels out of the towel cupboard, I don't know where else to look. By the way it never rained.

SHAKSHOUKA

Tonight we are having one of my favourite dinners and thought that I would give the recipe. Its cheap, so tasty and relatively healthy. This is great with fresh baguette , so other crusty bread for dipping in the sauce. I also add a good amount of sweet paprika and a couple of cloves of garlic.

SHAKSHOUKA (EGGS IN TOMATO SAUCE)
A Sephardi favorite. No Middle Eastern restaurant menu is complete without it, though Hungarians also delight in this dish--with the addition of lots of paprika. Leshakshek means "to shake" in Hebrew. Every cook from North Africa has his or her own personal version of this egg and tomato dish. Whatever vegetable is used, it must be fresh, not canned. Although, I have made this with canned Watties Moroccean Tomatoes and it was good and quick.

1 lg. onion (finely chopped)
4 eggs
cooking oil
6 medium tomatoes
salt and pepper to taste
In a large frying pan, saute onion until lightly browned. Grate tomatoes on largest holes of a grater. Mix grated tomatoes and onion, cover and cook over low heat for 25 minutes. Remove cover and break eggs over the surface.

Stir gently to break yolks, cover and cook for about 3 or 4 minutes until eggs are set. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.

Variations: One minced garlic clove may be added to the onion, or 3 to 4 slices of red pimento may be sauteed with the onion

Smile and the world smiles with you !

Thank you Jules for the lovely blanket.