Its been a rough week. I just feel so overwhelmed , uncomfortable and hot. I have felt really sick the last couple of days and I can’t escape the heat, I know that things will be better when Erez is home. I need a break from work, home and am just so tired. The thing is that I feel like I should be trying to relax, preserve my energy and actually all that is happening is that I am getting more and more unable to feel like I can cope. I wish I could take a break from work, sleep, potter at home. I feel sick of everything. The baby is coming in 5 weeks and I feel so rundown I don’t know where I am going to get the energy. Nothing is organized and the thought of doing it is too much right now. I really wanted to paint Yonatan’s room before the baby was born and give him lots of love and special attention and spend quality time with him, where in fact I am doing the opposite. He is pushing boundaries understandably with all the changes going on and although I know the right thing to do, I am so reactive and intolerant at the moment. I feel like I am at my emotional capacity. I also feel angry at the moment but I’m not really sure why, I feel angry a lot, and it scares me to think that I have turned into an angry person.
I miss having friends to talk to and get support and reassurance from. It is a big part of my life missing here and it makes be sad that I don’t really see that situation getting any better here. I wish that I could not need it so much; I think it would make life here a lot easier. Its not how I wanted to be feeling just before having this baby. We waited so long fo her and wanted her so much.
2 comments:
Oh mate, we're here for you, desperately wanting to give you a cuddle and tell you it's all gonna be OK, you know it is. Baby will arrive and you will be the same awesome Mum for her as you are for Yonatan. I don't know how you could be feeling any differently in this situation, and you're right as soon as Erez is home you will be better. Of course it's daunting, but I know you can do it, you're gonna be great. I'll try to call you, you try to call me, I don't know if that makes it better or worse (sometimes both?!). Love you hun xx
MMM is not lying sweetheart. We are here for you. Distance has no relevance I feel just as close to you now as when I could look over my partition and see you at your terminal.
You are and always will be my rock, in particular your butt, rock hard with absolutely no cellulite whatsoever. xxx
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