Still no rain .... but I am quietly optimistic

Another year...

Its going to be a quiet New Years Eve for us. We don't usually celebrate anyway , although last year I did feel the desire to put on my dancing shoes and even wore my little black dress and went to a party. I had a nice time and even danced for the first time in ages. But this year an early night with a book sounds even better, and maybe even a cuddle with my beloved. I've always been such a sucker for New Years resolutions, but this year I've decided not to make any. I was listening to someone on National Radio talking about how bad they are and how we usually use them as an excuse for a bit of self bashing. I realised that I usually choose things that I didn't like about myself, swear to change them and then when I didn't keep the resolutions past the first week in January, really felt terrible and worthless. So no more , I would like to be kinder to myself this year, hopefully then it will reflect out to those around me. This afternoon has come over , really overcast, I hope it rains soon.

Happy Chunukah

First big bath with Mum

Five minute blog

Today I got an email from a very special friend who reminded me how important blogging is, so that those you care about feel connected to your everyday life and have a sense of being part of it somehow. So here I am , its 10.56am , baby is sleeping , I'm having by midmornind coffee. Thought that I would do a rundown of my morning although its all very boring. Got up at 8.00 , Maia nursed twice during the night, I don't know what happened to her sleeping though but I hope that it will happen again soon. She has a stuffy nose so maybe thats what's keeping her up. By the time that I got up Yonatan had left for kindy so I missed seeing him, but the sleepin was good. I had a bowl of branflakes for breaky , as I am a big advocate of keeping "regular" ha ha (( now you are really getting all the tedious details ). Walked over to the laundry with the dog, who we finally bathed in the weekend and is no longer as smelly. Picked up our stuff from the main laundry. Picked up a bottle of yogurt and some yummy mandarins from the main fridge , which I can take the basics 24/7 , like fruit, veges, cheese , milk , yogurt etc. The yogurt is for a lemon yogurt cake that I am making today for a party in the older kids club, where Erez is working. A big thank you for Ms Janet from the Press for this great recipe. Came home , booked the neighbourhood washing machine and did a load of babys clothes there, ( I prefer to wash them myself ) and some stuff of Yonatans in preparation of travelling north tomorrow to a wedding of a friend and a weekend at the inlaws. So I have to pick up my washing in 15 minutes and do a second load , bake the cake and do some housework. At 12 ish I will go to the dining room for some lunch, come home watch Oprah and more cleaning probably. So thats it, cooking pasta for dinner , alone with the 2 kids and hopefully have an early night. So thats it , hope that fills in any curiousity about how I spend my days. Ok , I hear a squeak from the room, I wonder if I can vacumn, bake a cake, pick up the washing and juggle a baby all at one time. Oh forgot to mention that my sweet girl is 3 months today

Kiwi kid

I love these pictures, Maia looks like such a kiwi kid in her fleece jacket.

Me and my girl

Enoying a swing on a lovely autumn afternoon in our back yard.

Bad hair day !

Someone told me that women that just gave birth should never do anything drastic to their hair....why didn't I listen. The hairdresser convinced me to have streaks, which she then straeked bright blonde, gave me a fringe ( despite telling her I didn't want ! ) I know look very middle age and my hair is very pouffy ! I don't know what to do, I look like Sarit hadad , a very tacky middle eastern singer. I wonder if a coulour rinse over the top would work. I'm in shock. Ok will its not me , its Sarit Hadad but you get the picture.

A very proud Nana

Love my crocs !

I know that are as ugly as sin , but love my crocs. Yes mine are this funky green .... shocking pink are next !

De-clutter !

I have a new plan of attack.. I am trying to de-clutter my house and get some sort of organisation happening. I am such a hoarder and on the top of that I am cheap !!So its hard to throw things out becuase " i might use it sometime " or " I might fit into that again ". Mum yesterday went through my closet with me and I was horrified at how many clothes I have , some stored from even before my NZ days and some that are way past their useby date, faded and lost their shape. I would say that we got rid of a third, ans sorted a big bag of things that I don't fit ( but hopefully will in a month or so when my baby tummy has gone down ! ) up high.
The big problem with living here is that a lot of people dress casually , but I mena really casually and there is a big temptation , especially for someone like me , to dress a litte shabbily, cos no body cares really. So now my wardrobe is sorted , I've decided to spurge and get my eye lashes tinted , to try to look less of a scruff. Where is DG when I need her, for a complete makeover! Plus I have an appointment for a cut and colour tomorrow, I haven't coloured my hair since I was pregnant , so hopefully it will give a bit of a lift.
I still have the rest of the house to do , we have a serious problem with storage , not to add to the fact that we now have all this new stuff for Maia. Any storage ideas ? I need to be merciless. Is it worth saving Yonatan " boy baby clothes " , I know three people having little boys in the next wee while . should I just let go and pass them on ? God, Jods , don't have a haert attack but I just may paint my toe nails tonight. !I know that Jules is going to be laughing , cos I suspect that she is the same as me , with the lack of pampering , but being so organised she would me to shame. Come help me sort for a while ?
OK , back to my cupboard. Forgot to mention that my Mum also organised my bathroom cupboard for me , I love her so much !

One month yesterday

Miss Maia was one month yesterday. Can't believe how quickly the time has gone by!

A day in the life

I am really enjoying being at home with Maia. We haven't really got into any schedule , but the mornings seem to pass by and most afternoons we both have a sleep. So things are good. I brought home the scales today, from the kibbbutz clinic, but she is sound asleep so I haven't had a chance to weigh her yet. I am sure that she's put on a bit of weight and I feel like she is already so much bigger. You know, 18 days and a "big girl " already. She has had a sore tummy in the venings in the last week and I have been drinking fennel tea and eating adophvilous yogurts, and reducing the milk that I'm drinking. With Yonatan I couldn't eat any milk products for 6 months because of his colic, so thank goodness it doesn't seem to have come to that ... yet. Fingers crossed.
Bad news is that our good friends from the kibbutz are leaving. They have had a really tough absorption period and its just not working for them. The kibbutz has been a really negative experience for them , which disappoints me as well , that a place that I feel is so accepting of me , has given them such a hard time. I hope they will stay in the area and will have to make the most of their last three months here.
Yonatan is good, a little bit of regression in his behaviour, he has started this really awful crying when he doesn't get his own way and on friday night he threw a plate in the dining room !!So he is having to take money from his money box, to " buy a new plate " and I will march him to the dining room to present it to someone there. Yesterday his naughtiness was quite funny ( well sort of )He was playing hide and seek outside with his friends and was brought inside to get ready for bed, He threw a wobbly and was out in his room, where he dumped all the stuffed toys and blankets from his top bunk. When we came in his room was a mess, we were really proud of our response , instead of screaming and yelling ( which I have been known to do , once or twice in the past ! ) we just started picking things up. He looked stunned and said " do you want to know why I did this ? " We looked at him and said " not really " and kept picking up. He was bursting to tell us, and got no reaction. Hopefully next time , he will realise it doesn't work. Most probably though, he will just come up with new and original ideas for trying to challenge us !! Three year olds ! Jods and Jules, its coming , trust me !! Lucky he is so cute!
I just realised that I have written a whole blog entirely about my children, wind and naughtiness ! Hope you are still awake !

Baby Naming

On Sabbath we had a baby naming for Maia and I wanted to share what I had written. I have to warn you , its a bit soppy but truly heartfelt. i guess that I can get away with being over sentimental at the moment, I can always blame it on my hormones !!

Maia Emily Gila Granit

When I first realized that Maia was going to born by caesarian, it seemed such a foreign and strange thing to know when your child would come into this world and when you would meet her for the first time. To lie in bed the night before and think “ wow, tomorrow I’m going to have this little girl, I’m going to see her face and touch her. It has its own magic to it.

An hour before she was born, Erez and I were sitting on a hospital bed playing sheshpesh , which was somewhat surreal. You will be pleased to know that I bet him 4 games to 2.

Erez, I am so glad that it was your eyes that I got to look into the moment that she came into the world and that we heard her cry for the first time. I thank you for your beautiful words afterwards, telling me how brave and amazing I was and for making me feel that I could achieve anything, if you were there with me. I am so grateful that I have you in my life and that we have created this beautiful family together.

The thing that seems so amazing to me now, is that just last week, when I looked at Yonatan, it didn’t seem possibly that my heart could expand anymore to include anyone else. When you only have one child it’s hard to imagine how you could have room to love more than one. Now when I look at Maia , I literally can feel my heart expanding and its an amazing feeling.

There is so much that I feel grateful for and feel that I need to give thanks for.

I also feel grateful for the love, help and support that I felt from so many people both during the pregnancy and the birth. I feel privileged to live within such a community, and thank you all so much.

I feel grateful for Erez and Yonatan , their love and humor and for our family.

I am so grateful to the gift of this little girl.
I pray for her to become a person who greet the world
With passion, courage, humility, humor and patience

I pray for the ability to love and nurture her,
To provide for her and educate her,
To understand her and allow her the freedom to grow and discover the person that she will become.

Maia, we welcome you into your family,
Into your community,
Into your world

We love you.

The besotted big brother

Happy One week Birthday !

As it has been quite rightly pointed out I have been scarce with details ! Maia was born 20 September, 9.36am and weighed 3.460 kg, at week 38 and 5 days. The recovery from the c section is pretty horrific , but so worth it. I would do it again tomorrow if we could get another one like her. Ok ... maybe not tomorrow !

One day old

Maia Emily Gila

It's happening ...

This is my last sleep at home before this little person arrives , tomorrow get admitted to the hospital and then on Wednesday morning if all goes according to plan , we get to meet this little person. Its makes me feel quite emotional just thinking about it. I can't imagine. So this will be my last blog for a while. Thanks for all the good wishes, Big kiss xxxx

Jonny G and sidekick

No long now...

So ... The big news is that we have a date... One week to go. C section is scheduled 20 September. Lots of mixed emotions, excited, disappointed, happy , relieved ,you name it!. I still haven't given up hope that she might turn, who knows. The things is that now I have it in my head that I am going to meet her next week by c section. I will be kind of disappointed if I have to wait longer. Washed baby clothes today,I guess this is actually happening !

Still breeching !

So the monitor confirmed today that she is still breech, but nice strong heart beats and trying her hardest to kick off the sensors. On Monday we will set the date , isn't that a weird thing deciding your child's birth date ! What does that mean astrology wise I wonder ?

Three and a half weeks to go, or maybe less !

Maybe less.. So the latest news is that babys head is still not down. We have another scan and monitor to check that everything is ok tomorrow and then twice weekly after that. Lets hope that she's decided to move, but I think I still feel her head pushing upwards between my ribs , you can imagine how comfortable that is ! So if she is still in the breech position , I will go back on Monday and they will schedule a c section. Not exactly what I had planned , I do very sad that it may not be a natural labour , but not as much as I thought I would. As long as she is delivered safe and healthy. The one thing that does concern me is that apparently it is hospital policy that the husband can not be in the room during the operation, which I'm disappointed about, but what can you do.
If it does need to be a c-section then they will probably schedule it for the week of the 21st. Still cross your fingers that she will turn ! I haven't quite given up hope.
So I've decided to stop work at the end of next week, since I won't be there half the time anyway. Even now , its more like half days. It will give me some time to get things organized at home. We bought a baby bath yesterday and a mechanic crib rocker ( present from nana, apparently her friend bought one for her grandchild and they are great ) I started putting clothes in the cupboard, so its starting to feel more like its happening. Yonatan keeps asking if the baby is ready and " baby feeling " he says she's boxing ( that's definitely what is feels like ) Its funny what he picks up on , we had been discussing her position and he comes up for a feel and says " oh here's her head and ..... here's her bum !" Can't believe I have a child that's says bum instead of bottom and fart instead of blow off. I will have to try harder next time !

Snorkel Fun

Its been a rough week. I just feel so overwhelmed , uncomfortable and hot. I have felt really sick the last couple of days and I can’t escape the heat, I know that things will be better when Erez is home. I need a break from work, home and am just so tired. The thing is that I feel like I should be trying to relax, preserve my energy and actually all that is happening is that I am getting more and more unable to feel like I can cope. I wish I could take a break from work, sleep, potter at home. I feel sick of everything. The baby is coming in 5 weeks and I feel so rundown I don’t know where I am going to get the energy. Nothing is organized and the thought of doing it is too much right now. I really wanted to paint Yonatan’s room before the baby was born and give him lots of love and special attention and spend quality time with him, where in fact I am doing the opposite. He is pushing boundaries understandably with all the changes going on and although I know the right thing to do, I am so reactive and intolerant at the moment. I feel like I am at my emotional capacity. I also feel angry at the moment but I’m not really sure why, I feel angry a lot, and it scares me to think that I have turned into an angry person.
I miss having friends to talk to and get support and reassurance from. It is a big part of my life missing here and it makes be sad that I don’t really see that situation getting any better here. I wish that I could not need it so much; I think it would make life here a lot easier. Its not how I wanted to be feeling just before having this baby. We waited so long fo her and wanted her so much.

Positivity

I felt like writing something today , but can't think of anything positive to say. Which is a shame because I like to think that I am usually a positive, optimistic person. Well.. I think I am. I was awful to Yonatan yesterday , big grumpy and hormonal...So my goal for today is to try to be as patient and loving as I can. He is having a hard time with Erez away and a Mum that isn't at all enthusiastic about playing football or tennis, with her enormous stomach and swollen ankles. Lets face it bending to pick up the ball is a challenge. On the positive side , arranged an ice cream play date at 4.30 today.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you !

Thinking of you makes me see the beauty of each day.

Frangipani

There is something so beautiful about Frangipani. This picture makes me feel uplifted.

What am I listening to lately ?

The best thing has happened to me this week. I have discovered National Radio online. Its fantastic, love hearing the kiwi accent and ofcourse all the homegrown music. Songs from the Front Lawn has been one of my favourites since I was about 16 and Don McGlashan is just amazing. I remember seeing him and the Mutton Birds once when Warners was still a grotty ol'( you had to love it )pub, it was packed, smokey and some guy in the front row was screaming " Don McGlashan you're a god " Ok , you a little extreme but still get those good old nostagic warm fuzzies thinking about it. The whole room was just a mass of swaying , jiggling, a little intoxicated kiwi music enthusiasts. Anyway I am going to have to come up with some way to have my computer, or at least the speakers put through to the living room, so that when I am on maternity leave I can listen to national radio every day.

World's cutest dragon

Yonatan's purim costume . very cute !

My dressing gown

Still in my dressing gown, finding something to wear is too daunting. Maybe time for another cuppa tea.

Time for a kaftan ?

I forgot to mention, to make matters worse, I decided to go through my closet, so my Mum could have a free space. It now turns out that I have very little that actually fits me anymore and which is unlikely to in the next 9 months ( I'm being optismistic that I will be able to fit back into things after three months ) All my t shirts are ridiculously short and have tummy poking out, and all but a couple of pants too tight. I really have no clothes not to mention that in another month the weather will be 35-40 degrees, I may need to buy a kaftan, hmm pretty !

Dust Bunnies and sand nightmares

My Mum arrives tomorrow so we have been madly cleaning in preparation. How much dust can be in one house !!! Its terrible , I can't even imagine how much we must inhale daily. Probably best not to think about it. I know that we live in the desert but can't believe how much sand there is everyday , its like we live in a sandbox. Doesn't help that Yonatan does actually have a sandbox which happens to be his favourite activity. Today for instance , he had two friends over and usually when Yonatan is alone I can turn him upside down and give him a good shake before he comes inside , but forget it with three kids. In and out constantly , so in the end I gave up. Maybe I should keep a vacumn by the back door and vacumn them off before there come in , a bit like a security check before entry, checking pockets,socks and all hidden creases for sand. In the end I opted for a walk over to the petting zoo to play with the guinea pigs, turtles, goats and bunnies. The chincillas bit, as does the ferret so we avoided these and had a nice time otherwise. Can't avoid the sand under foot much londer so I am going to have to wash the floor tonight, oh well at least no carpet and can pour the water straight out the door. So my Mum arrives in less than 12 hours and thinking about poor old Jules saying goodbye to hers. Don't worry Jules at least your house doesn't resemble a small , badly assembled sand castle.

Noise makers, Arachnaphobia, Dragons and Golden Syrup !

The weather is gorgeous outside, no rounds of rolling nausea today and although I have been stuck inside in front of a computer most of the day , I did make an excuse and walk over to check the mail, go get some fruit from the big fridge and go to the shop for baking products.

This week we are celebrating probably one of the most fun holidays , especially for kids Purim. Basically a lot like Halloween in that everyone gets dressed up in costumes, there are lots of parties, ( shame I can't take advantage of the open bar !! ) and deliverys trays of home made treats to friends and family, which is a much nicer idea than sending your kids around to other peoples houses to demand and threaten for candy. There is a religious element , in that you read the Book of Esther , a great biblical feminist , ( well kind of still valued for her beauty etc most of all but you can't have everything ! ) but she saves that Jewish people and its kind of fun. The story is read a loud and all the kids are in their costumes and carry all kinds of noise making devices, of course there is a villian of the story called Haman, and whenever his name is mentioned , everybody kids and adults alike, hiss, bang on their pots, hoot their horns or shake their noisemakes and generally boo and make lots of noise. How much fun is that ! I mean where else to you get to behave so terribly, other than perhaps in parliment. They hang him from a tree in the end which is not very nice really and terribly unpolitically correct opps.

Yonatans costume this year is a dragon, very cute and he is looking forward to it. Tomorrow afternoon there is a parade of all the kids costumes outside , followed by a festival ! For the us , more mature ones, there is a costume party tonight, the theme is phobias. Should be fun to see what people come up with. I am predicatble arachnaphoba and E has been been too lazy to think of a costume yet.

So I am off to bake this afternoon , need to buy cookie paper, ( so nice not having to clean the tray - even if it is not very environmental ), only problem a lot of my favourite recipes from NZ contain Golden Syrup, hmm need to find a substitute.

Welcome back to blogging

This time I am determined to lose my username/ password/ or any other piece of vital information that I will need to be able to log on ! What to write , what to write.......