This week hasn't started well really. My friends from England have moved on today and I am really going to miss them. Honestly I think I feel annoyed at the kibbutz for their treatment of them. I have had enough of saying goodbye to people I care about.
Also a little girl from Yonatans daycare was badly burnt in the weekend and under went skin grafts today on her legs and arms. I can't think about how much pain she must be in poor wee thing. It also makes me think about how vulnerable my kids are and how easily they can be hurt. That scares me.
I don't know feel under a bit of a dark cloud really over the last couple of weeks. Hasn't helped that we have all been sick and I think that Maia has started teething , clothes constantly wet and the last two nights has woken a million times to nurse. I am all over the place , feel fine and then up and down. I also just made a coffee and looked around our living room and it is so not homey and so small. I bought a lovely red carpet a year ago , ( imitation Turkish thing ) but ended up having to take it out because it was never clean and a trap for sand which I couldn't vacuum up even.
Its depressing as I so want to make a lovely living environment for my family and I still miss how old house. Although we had old crappy temporary furniture, there was light and so much room in our NZ house. Our living room is a bit of a shoe box. I have somehow lost my self confidence and I am intimated by the idea of trying to create something different, in case I failure and then feel worse. I really miss my old self, I definitely used to be creative and motivated.
I think that I am actually just tired and that's why I am seeing the bad side of everything. New day tomorrow.
4 comments:
Oh mate, it's lack of sleep that does this to you. I remember (only too well) what Molly was like at this age. Nursing is exhausting enough without doing it all night as well. You'll feel better when you get some sleep, honest.
Thinking of you, especially today after the news. Love you xx
MMM is not wrong accept she neglected to say, just come home then.
To be fair I am not thousands of miles from my birth place and have all the Hokey Pokey ice cream I could ever wish for and I still feel stink. It must be the lack of sleep, I myself miss the person I was not this grumpy arse wipe I mostly am. Hell, if I was nice all the time I am sure someone would miss my sarcasim and cutting remarks.
MMM is not wrong accept she neglected to say, just come home then.
To be fair I am not thousands of miles from my birth place and have all the Hokey Pokey ice cream I could ever wish for and I still feel stink. It must be the lack of sleep, I myself miss the person I was not this grumpy arse wipe I mostly am. Hell, if I was nice all the time I am sure someone would miss my sarcasim and cutting remarks.
Thanks for the support - love you both xx
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